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Went to football today (after a very heavy Friday night out drinking. Tip: You don’t have to have your traditional half-time pint like I didn’t if you have a bad hangover, ok?), but I did bring on a massive celebratory-induced headache when I jumped up and down when cheering our second goal going in when we won 2-1, so beware of that one.

I was also reminded of why I love English football so much: The humour.

When we started to sing to David James (The Man City ‘keeper) “Englands… number four… Englands Englands number four” I found it so funny that I couldn’t sing it properly due to giggling so much. Then Mark (who I go with), told me the story of how the other week of how after Traore (a Liverpool defender) had scored a spectacular own goal the other week by mis-controlling the ball and back-heeling it into his own net, the Newcastle fans – to the tune of ‘Blame it on the boogie’ – started singing:

“Don’t blame it on Nunez, Don’t blame it on Biscan, Don’t blame it on Hamann, just blame it on Traore. He just can’t.. he just can’t.. he just can’t control his feet”. Fan-bloody-tastic!

After being accosted at my local newsagents by 13 year school girls to buy them cigarettes the other day (I refused), I apparently appear now to have become the man who underage people ask to buy them things. Maybe I’ve just got one of those faces, you know?

I stopped at my local Esso garage on the way home last night for that milk & bread essential stop, only to be accosted by a ‘young lady’ done up to the nines who said “”scuse me mate, can you buy me and my friend two bottles of San Miguel and some WKD please”. And I looked her up and down … and thought that she actually almost looked 18, to the point where my reaction was in fact to laugh out quite loudly (which made her look worried) and say back to her “You mean they refused to serve you? Tarted up like that you do look old enough”, to which she didn’t respond, but instead half scowled at me, and waved two five pound notes out at me, and repeated her order “Two bottles of San Miguel and a blue WKD please”.

And did I do it? Did I encourage illegal under-age teenage drinking? Did I nick her ten pounds and not come back, or did I say “Why don’t you and your mates come back to my place and we’ll all get drunk together”.

I’m not telling.

Oh, and have a look at this (below – click on it for for the full image), it’s a very funny dig at Mac/Apple users (for a change) rather than having them knocking all us PC/Windows people all the time …


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