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Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, Scratch Me

Somedays you just can’t say what you’ve been doing and you really really yearn for an anonymous blog. (Eh, Andrew?), but there’s nothing I can do about it now. In the meantime, if anyone can remember the rules of “Who rang who last, and a missed call counts more than a text, and you can’t text twice unless they texted you twice, and you don’t want to look too keen by ringing and texting and how long shall I wait before I reply to their text?” and all that bollocks, then please let me know because it’s years since I’ve done this and I’ve forgotten what all the proper rules & etiquette are.

Naked feet!Mysterious ramblings aside, I have two bring you two excellent photos – (c) Neil Blake 2005 –, and I have to say that or he’ll get the hump as he’s quite protective about the photos that he takes, in this instance taken at a birthday bash I went to last Sunday.

Look away now if you don’t want to see naked flesh … ooh .. to late, you’ve already seen them, haven’t you? Ah well.

The first is a rather innocent ‘foot fetish’ photo, as we were discussing who had the smallest and biggest feet (Biggest: Me, size eleven to twelve depending on where I get my shoes from), which was swiftly followed by this picture of my back.

Yes, that’s my back. Being scratched to pieces, and I can’t remember how it happened, but I promise you it’s more innocent than it looks. Honest.

Geoff's Back!!I think I said something like “Ooh, I really like having my back scratched”, and before I knew it, two willing sets of hands decided to dig deep with their fingernails, to see just how much I really like having it done.

It looks quite disturbing doesn’t it? And for some reason, I just felt the need to share that with you. I’m not really sure why.

Oh, and I got my phonebill through this morning, on the itemised part, it had three columns .. number, location and cost. One location caught my eye .. ‘Mercury‘ it said. Really? Have I been making inter-stella calls again in my sleep that I don’t remember? No .. it is indeed of course a hangover from the days of Mercury Communications who got bought out by Cable & Wireless. But Paul in Clitheroe … yes – you! You with the 01200 number is who gets listed as being in ‘Mercury’. Made me chuckle.

30 responses to “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me, Scratch Me”

  1. Moley says:

    So,let’s kick this off – other than feet and back scratching, does anyone else have any weird fetishes? πŸ™‚

  2. Neil says:

    No preamble in the comments of THIS post then …

    Define weird.

    I mean, a desire to be tied up and whipped isn’t really “weird” is it?

  3. Ian says:

    So you’ve been flirting with one of the boys you met on the 281 then?

  4. Neil says:

    I told you the 281 bus route was gay.

  5. hmm says:

    if you scratch my back… i’ll think you’re strange

  6. Annie Mole says:

    I leave the geeky room at my party for one minute and see what happens.

    That picture looks terrible. Do you have scars????

  7. geofftech says:

    I was at my Physio today. She says “Take your top off”. (Don’t worry, this is part of her job and she says this everytime).

    “Oh”, I say, pausing, suddenly remembering last Sunday activities.

    “What?” she says

    I give her a quick rundown of the situation, and explain to her that there might be some scarring left …

    “Is there?” I ask ..

    She just chuckles. I’m sort of taking that as a ‘yes’.

  8. pixeldiva says:

    The horizontal one I’d say is definitely still there, the vertical ones should be near enough gone by now. At least on the right hand side…

  9. stroppycow says:

    I would say the ones on the left hand side were no more raised than those on the right hand side.
    Maybe the picture should have come with an RSPCA type warning “no skin was broken during the taking of this picture”.

  10. David A says:

    Hmm, fetishes, ok, heres one.

    Eating πŸ˜›

    That back scratching picture confuses me for some reason! It brings up so many questions?

  11. Oh deary, deary, deary deary me.

  12. geofftech says:

    David A,

    questions such as… ?

  13. Neil says:

    David A is probably shocked that such things happen at our parties …

    I’d have had a go myself but a certain person would probably have disapproved so I stuck to taking pictures πŸ™‚

  14. geofftech says:

    Having ones back scratched is ‘shocking’ ? Tsk. Right, i’ll go back to posting irrelvant things about iPods and the like…

  15. Moley says:

    I note that I had just left the party when this started happening!

  16. geofftech says:

    Well what with Charlotte being underage and everything, we thought we’d better wait until you’d left…

  17. Chris says:

    I personally don’t have any fetishes (or at least haven’t discovered them yet) but my ex did. And, of course, it would be immoral, evil and just plain wrong to divulge such information.

    So, with that out the way, she also had a liking for the whole food thing, and was slightly into sado-masochism. The latter she denied- constantly- but it was true. It was also rather disturbing.

    Oh, and on the off-chance that you’re googling your own name, hello Caroline Westoby!

  18. geofftech says:

    Google hasn’t picked up on it yet. Probably takes a day.

    Hang on, i’ll just ask my internet advisor..


    Does Google pick up on words & phrases in WordPress comments?

  19. pixeldiva says:

    I’m obviously not Jono, but it’ll pick up on anything visible within your pages. So yes, it’ll pick up her name and if she ever googles for her own name she’ll find it.

  20. geofftech says:

    Now Sunday, 12:46pm. It hasn’t got their yet.

    I’ll give a ‘F5 Award’ to the first person to send me a screenshot of when Google does pick up on it.

  21. Jono says:

    You’ll be able to tell when Google has checked your site by looking through your logs. If you see the word “Freshbot” in there somewhere, that’s the folks from Google taking a look in. As La Diva says, Google picks up anything that you can see on the page (and in some cases, some things you can’t).

    And as for being obviously not me, Ann, it has been known to hear a Scottish female voice answer when phoning me…

  22. SK says:

    …And next week on Geoff’s blog, will be a picture of Geoff trying on a gimp suite. Just to see what it’s like of course! πŸ˜‰

  23. Charlotte says:

    I’m not underage any more πŸ˜›

    I can legally drink and everything!! *nods eagerly* πŸ˜›

    So there’s no need to edit things out on my account.

    But then i suppose I have a higher mental age then Chris (moley) so maybe you were editing it out for him rather then me but you don’t like to insult him….


    As for fetishes… I don’t have any (that i admit for anyway ;))

  24. Moley says:

    That she’ll admit to anyway! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

  25. Chris says:

    Oh, you probably have a higher mental age than me, too..

  26. Neil says:

    What’s a mental age?

  27. BigBoy says:

    So, Geoff…. what have you been up to! I guess the Number 281 bus will go passed here? could be a night out for you?? πŸ˜‰ as the last time I saw scratches like that a ‘friend’ of mine who just come out of that place! have fun

  28. What must your poor mother be thinking when she reads this blog?

    I’ve always thought she must have the patience of a saint with having you as a son, and now she deserves our sympathies more than ever.

    Geoff’s mum – you rock πŸ˜‰

  29. I fully agree that Geoff’s mum rocks and I would love nothing better than for her to start her own blog. It would certainly go in my blog bookmarks ahead of this one. Geoff, why not set her up with one?

    Geoff got all of his mum’s best qualities. Not sure where the other ones came from however.

  30. Peter says:

    Just googled for “Caroline Westoby” – google took until 12 Oct 2005 09:05:14 GMT to pick it up. That’s sloooow.

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