Main menu: Home Tube Challenge Underground : USA Living in America 50p iPod Music

Who you gonna call … ?

I’ve been meaning to mention this for a while, ever since the day I bought it, as there is a happy story behind my new Dyson.

First the technical spec – It’s a Dual Cyclone DC11 with ‘Telescope’ and it is the most bizarre thing to look at. More bizarre though is when you first use the thing, and you think “Where’s the long extendable bit?”, and then you realise what the telescope is.

So is it a vacuum? Or is it a bazooka? Or a storm troopers gun? Or just an elephant gun style rifle? I don’t know .. but apparantly is does let you vacuum floor as well. Amazing.


I can’t but help feel that certain people (no names mentioned) will mention how gay I look in some of these … all I know is that I don’t look 33! This makes me happy.

Dustbusters!In the meantime, my flat has been totally vacuumed clean from top to bottom this evening. I even pulled the cooker out in the kitchen and got all the crap behind that. And all the cobwebs in the corners, and behind the sofa. God I’m obsessed.

So … does anyone need their place cleaned? I’ll pop round and do it in return for a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Anyway, I’ve got a new song in my head … by Ray Hoover Junior – Who you gonna call – Dustbusters!

44 responses to “Who you gonna call … ?”

  1. Shaz says:

    Geoff – mate, our house is on the market in NZ, and every day needs vacuuming. Come on down,

  2. Shaz says:

    I’ll put the kettle on and whip a batch of biscuits :0)

  3. David A says:

    Thats a vacum cleaner to be proud of 😀

  4. So…. what’s the new project?!

  5. Richard says:


    did you actually choose to wear a T-shirt that would match the colour of your hoover?

  6. Bumble says:

    I have lots of tidying needs doing…
    But no tea.
    But homemade shortbread!

  7. Alan Perks says:

    You’ve already had the biscuits (but not blogged them!) Geoff, my carpets now await your visit!
    The biscuits were the downpayment, I’ll make you a cup of tes as final settlement when you’ve finished.

  8. Alan Perks says:

    Oops, “a cup of tes”?, maybe that should have read “tea”!

  9. Brian says:

    When did you fix your menu? It seems to work in Mozilla now…

  10. Geoff's other half says:

    Morning sweetie…

    I think you look butch!

    Have you measured the telescopic bit, just out of interest?

  11. Jen says:

    Geoff, me carpet is also in need for a Dyson visit! I’ll make you a cup of moccha! okay, two for making you come down to Brighton!

  12. Neil says:

    Geoff, can you come and lick my carpet?

  13. badly dubbed boy says:

    You’re so proud of having bought a new Dyson that you put pics of it and you on the Internet, and then you claim that you’re not 33? 😉

  14. Paul says:

    Come over Geoff. You and your girlf can come and drink some authentic Redbush (Roiboss) all the way from SA! We even got Fox’s biscuits! Have I won you over yet?

  15. geofftech says:


    I’ve got a girlfriend?

    News to me!

  16. Paul says:

    Geoff, your ma ma is giving me her music CD’s. Can you pass on my email address to her?

  17. pixeldiva says:



    *falls off chair laughing*

  18. Neil says:

    2nd row, third picture, hand on hip.

    VERY JGE 🙂

  19. geofftech says:


    If you identify yourself to me in an eMail as which one of the eight people I know that are called ‘Paul’ you are, then yes -I’ll forward your address onto my mum…

    And again – what Girlfriend?

  20. Ahh, it all falls into place.

    But anyway, where is the new project, Geoff?!?!

  21. Neil says:

    Has he still not told anyone what his new thing is?

    How very remiss of him.

    I could tell you all, having seen it, but I’ll wait for him to announce it on this blog as I’m sure he will when he’s fixed all the missing pages and spelling mistakes on it.


  22. Geoff's other half says:

    GF..? I’m devastated…

  23. Shut the fuck up.

    Neil, give Geoff a kick up the arse and tell him to announce it!

  24. kate says:

    the pictures above are muchly akin to some kind of strange catalogue, with apparently only one product in it.

    L-r, top to bottom…
    1. hoover. hello. welcome to Earth.
    2. oh, but how does it work? surely you just…plug it in?
    3. there’s a little thing here that is like a teensy…handbag. with suction.
    4. but oh look, it extends with some flexi-pipe, for all your angular needs.
    5. check out the nozzle on this baby.
    6. check out the…RAY GUN! nyar!
    7. oh, and it extends EVEN MORE…
    8. it’s deadly! er, ok, well, if you need to kill dust that is.

  25. Neil says:

    Anthony: YOU give him a kick up the arse and tell him to announce it 🙂

    As for what you wrote before that – well said that man!

  26. Geoff's Mum (Tina) says:

    I can see Geoff’s new future career as a male model,
    anyone know any model agencies we can send this wonderful
    set of pics to? Also if he has no GF who took the
    photos, did he take them himself? Step aside Narcissus!

  27. Mr X says:

    I’ve given him a kick up the arse and actually helped him finish the website.

    But he still hasn’t announced it to the world yet!

  28. Peter says:

    I think Geoff should get a job at QVC, demonstrating products.

  29. geofftech says:

    New website … soon … very soon …

    No one has give me a kick up the arse! Hello Mr. X? F-off!

    I’ll do it in my own sweet time thank you very much. No point in making it official to the world until (as Neil points out) I’ve bothered to spellcheck it!

    And besides, I’ve had important Apple launches to attend, y’know…!

    Dyson photos taken for me by a friend 🙂

  30. Anthony says:

    Well, Geoff, aren’t you quite the Number 1 Hardcore UK Man of Mystery?!?!

    That’s TWO things promised to me by Monday that still haven’t turned up (the other is the results of the NoLimits Competition 7 – King of the Hills).

    But seriously, take your time, as long as you’re spending it making the whole thing better for everyone!!!

    No, seriosuly, don’t worry.

  31. Neil says:

    Geoff – this is the downside to being an over-promoted celebrity with a large readership.

    Too many people want a piece of you.

    I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it’s one reason why he fucked off for a week. Remember folks, you reap what you sow …

  32. geofftech says:

    (the other is the results of the NoLimits Competition 7 – King of the Hills).

    Anthony – I love you to bits in a manly-plutonic kind of way, but sometime you manage to lose me completely! I have NO idea what you’re talking abuot here.

    Neil – “Over promoted celebrity” !? Rrrrright.

    And as stated : Diappeared for a week because I was pissed off about many things in life. Nothing to do with new project!

  33. Anthony says:

    Plutonic?! I know I’m a physicist but that’s a bit too nuclear for my liking. Can’t it be platonic instead?!

    The NoLimits Comp 7 King of the Hills is the 7th in an ongoing series of roller-coaster designing competitions, on the forums of

    The4 coaster designing software is called NoLimits, and is one of the finest coaster design programs available. It uses bezier curves to allow the user to build their coaster’s track in more or less any way they want – it’s miles away from the restrictive right-angles of Rollercoaster Tycoon.

    This particular comp involved creating an Intamin (manufacturer) “hypercoaster” on a pre-defined terrain. Extra points could be gained by a) building the station on the island, and b) having the track be no higher than 65ft above the ground at any point. The coaster had to be between 200 and 299ft high (mine was about 230) and under 6250ft long in total.

    Here is a screenshot of my entry for Comp 7. It is called…


  34. geofftech says:

    Somebody call for the men in white coats please!

  35. kate says:

    surely Anthony has a white coat of his own?

  36. Anthony says:

    Check your Underground Masker CD cover for proof of the lab coat – or click here:

    I actually have two white coats, one older than the other, and I was going to dye the older one black. I think I still will, it’s just a case of getting around to it.

    So thanks, but no thanks, I won’t need the men in white coats (MWCs, or MIWCs – not as snappy as MIBs, is it?) but I’ll happily call them for Geoff when he announces his latest crazy venture.

  37. kate says:

    as a physicist do you feel the need to own more than one lab coat?

  38. No. As a physicist, I don’t need any lab coats!! It makes me feel important, though.

  39. kate says:

    ah, that makes more sense. When i was a physicist, we were made to wear them for experiments. No idea why, possibly to try and stop us getting irradiated, which since they weren’t made of lead, did nothing really. They’re good for looking official and carrying lots of pens in.

    could the men in white coats just happen to be accidental chemists that all turned up at one point in time at the same place by accident?

  40. Probably are…

    Regarding lab coats and radiation, you wouldn’t have a chance against beta or gamma radiation wearing a lab coat, as much as you would wearing nothing, or even a suit of armour (maybe!).

    Alpha radiation, though, has much less of a penetrating distance and so wearing lab coats, extra layers, and even safety goggles (yeah, it seems REALLY stupid) actually helps!

    Or you could just avoid the radiation int he first place by simply not being there…

  41. Ian says:

    Mrs Broccoli.

    It might be a boyfriend that took the photos. Has he not “come out” to you yet?

  42. geofftech says:

    I can tell you with my honest hat on, that my good friend and iPod contributor #2, Steven – took the photos.

    And no, it’s not Broccoli. None of you have guessed it – you’re all hopeless!

  43. Geoff's Mum (Tina) says:

    Well if my name is Broccoli, (which is isn’t) and my husband is a bit tubby,
    that makes him ‘Tubby Broccoli’ then (clever James Bond link there, very topical).
    Talking of vegetables,does anyone remember the toy’Mr Potato Head?’ I saw an
    ad in a toy catalogue for a Star Wars version – ‘Darth Tater’ complete with little
    plastic space helmet and accessories. I am thinking of buying Geoff one for Christmas.

Powered by WordPress