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Irrelevant: Three of Three

Actually, this is not that irrelevant, in fact – it’s quite funny …

I had to go to the doctors this morning. Don’t panic (or celebrate?) folks, I’m not about to whither and die yet, but it was something that had me worried enough for me to go along and get it checked out, and it was in an area in which you’ll know what I mean if I say “the most sensitive one on the male body”.

Got that area in mind? Good – then think of your own favourite word for said sensitive area, and I’ll use the word ‘WORD’ to replace it in the next scene …


[Wobbly motion flash-back effect to Geoff’s doctors surgery at 08.45 this morning]

The intercom crackles into life as my doctor calls me through, “Geoff Marshall to room number four please”, and I wander on in, greet the doctor and sit down.

He says “And how can I help you today?”, at which point I say “Well i’ve got this pain here (points), and sometimes here (points), and all day yesterday it was hurting my WORD a bit”, (and I point again just in case I’m the first patient he’s ever seen to have had a problem in this area).

About 20 seconds after this as we’re still talking, there’s a knock on the door and the nurse pops her head in. “Er.. Doctor Harris, I think you should know that you’ve left your intercom on…”, and she looks at his phone/intercom device on his desk that he’s just called me in on. Both he & I look at it, then at each other, then he looks aghast, apologises and then I burst into laughter as I realise that the rest of the waiting room probably just heard my attempt at describing my ailment. My doctor looks relieved that I’m not about to thump him one.

You couldn’t make it up, could you? Fantastic.

Oh, and I still appear to be in one piece – it wasn’t the nasty serious thing that I thought it might have been. Phew.

27 responses to “Irrelevant: Three of Three”

  1. Alan Perks says:

    What’s the problem then Geoff?
    Not the onset of puberty, is it?

  2. geofftech says:

    Any day now, my balls are going to drop I hope -yes. I might even start shaving too…

  3. Anthony says:

    Wow, I would have thought that doctors’ intercoms would have to be of the push-to-talk variety! They are some pretty unlucky goings-on, Geoff.

  4. geofftech says:

    It was part of his telephone. he picks up the phone and hits an ‘intercom’ button instead, and he just hadn’t replaced the handset properly.

    of course, it may not have come out that clearly, but short of re-staging the event which i wasn’t really about to do, it’s hard to say… but it was audible enough for the nurse to come rushing in to tell us! 🙂

  5. Simon says:

    thats the funniest thing i’ve heard all day!

  6. SK says:

    Although not quite as embarrasing – during a recent hospital appointment for a “mens bits problem”, I was asked if I could be used as an example in a medical exam the next day, which would have involved many trainee doctors examining my bits. Not surprisingly I turned down the offer, especially as I would only have been paid for expenses!

  7. Mikey says:

    omg, am glad you could see the funny side of that Geoff, i may well have died…or at least walked out the back door rather than going through the waiting room

  8. geofftech says:

    the doctor did offer me if i wanted to walk out the sneaky back entrance, but i declined. i’d worked myself up into a state of non-embarassment anyway as i figured i was about to be poked and prodded by a male doctor, so i just took that feeling with me when i stepped back outside and made out like nothing had happened.

    i think it was full of a lot of old people who’s hearing was probably starting to fail them a bit anyway… 🙂

  9. tom says:

    I’d be more embarassed at the offer to sneak up the doctors back passage….

  10. Ben says:

    Is it just coincidence that yesterday you were talking a load of bollards?

  11. Bod says:

    Not quite in the same league, but a story on a similar vein of mistaken pressing of the ‘push to talk’ button. Many years ago, heard over a train’s PA system: ‘Listen, all I want is their f***ing money!’, followed by, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, the buffet is still open…’

  12. zuzula says:

    mate that’s hilarious – and the kind of thing that usually only happens to me!

  13. Complete balls-up, by the sound of it.

  14. Geoff's Mum (Tina) says:

    Er – what was this ‘serious thing’ that it wasn’t?

    You got me thinking!!

  15. Rob(Geoff's brother-in-law) says:

    Perhaps “they” just need a rest…. 🙂

  16. Geoff's Cousin (Phil) says:

    Have you got ‘talking bollocks disease’ again?

    Hi Auntie Tina :wave:

  17. geofftech says:

    Oh for fecks sake. it’s a geoff-family-reunion online. anyone else from my family want to chip in?

  18. pixeldiva says:

    Aww bless.

    Witness the mighty power of the blog.

    Write about a potentially embarrasing problem and have your entire family pitch in in the comments.

  19. Rob(Geoff's brother-in-law) says:

    Oi!, I see censorship still exists in this country, “Big Brother(in law)” has
    edited my post !

  20. Geoff's Cousin (Phil) says:

    Rob – was that the comment about Geoff’s privates getting a good workout last weekend?

  21. Rob(Geoff's brother-in-law) says:

    Phil – yeah, that was the one!
    Hey, we should really meet-up
    one day….we’ll use this website
    to make all the arrangements!!!

  22. Geoff's Cousin (Phil) says:

    Rob – definately. Would we have to take photo’s of the occasion, give each other 50p, or post bananas whilst eating Starbucks muffins though?

  23. geofftech says:

    Now you play nicely boys, or i’ll block your IP’s…

  24. pixeldiva says:

    Awww. Spoilsport.

    I’ve been rather enjoying this little comments thread.

  25. Geoff's Cousin (Phil) says:

    Dont’ worry Pix – Geoff doesn’t realise I can post from 46 different IP address if I need to….

  26. pixeldiva says:

    46? Oooh. Clever.

    Also sneaky.

    I like it 🙂

    P.S. He does now 🙂

  27. neil365 says:

    if only you’d taped it…could have been the first geofftech podcast

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