My Mate Colin
Got to work slightly early this morning for a 7am start. As I walk through the old reception, a distinctly unshaven, rough looking guy in a tatty old jacket calls out to me – ” ‘scuse me mate, do you know where Radio 5 is please?”. I actually look him up and down a couple of times thinking “Who is this bloke? Should he be here, has he just blagged his way into the building or something”, before replying “Well it depends which bit you’re after – they’ve got offices and studios all over the place”.
“I need the main radio studio” he says, “I’m filling in for someone this morning”, which is funny because with his Northern Irish accent he sounds a bit like Colin Murray, the Radio 1 presenter that’s on during weekday afternoons.
It’s not Colin Murray though, it just sounds like him as I beckon him towards the lifts and suggests he follows me as I’m vaguely heading in his direction anyway. “And where can I get a coffee from?” he asks, his rasping voice obviously in need of it. Oh dear, either he’s been up all night or he only got out of bed about half an hour ago. Judging from his attire, I reckon it’s actually the former.
We get in the lifts, making small talk, and then out on the second floor towards the tea bar and where he wants to go for Five Live. He still looks to me like he’s a bit of a weirdo, so I decide to test him out. “Where do you normally work then?” I ask. “Yalding House“ he says, “On Radio One”.
Ah …
“Uh hu …”I say casually, thinking about if I ask him who I think he is am I going to look a twat or not?
[pauses for thought]
Ah what the hell. Go for it Geoff.
“You’re not who I think you are, are you?”. He smiles. “I’m Colin” he says, giving me that look of ‘Yes, you’ve just worked out who I am, haven’t you?’. “Right”, I say “And I’m Geoff, and you can grab a coffee from over there” I say pointing to the tea bar, “And Five Live are just down there”, pointing to the double doors at the end of the corridor that we’re now walking along.
“Cheers mate”. “No worries.. have a good show”, I chuckle to myself and scamper up the stairs to the office.
What can I say? He looks a feck of a lot better on his nicely groomed picture on the Radio 1 website, than he does all blearly eyed, unshaven and hair all over the place at a quarter to seven in the morning. This must be why doing radio is better then telly – you don’t have to make an effort to look good.





After living in London for the first 33 years of my life and working for the 
So for ten weeks in June, July and August 2009, I drove 20,000 miles around the the lower 48 contiguous states of the USA visiting towns and places that shared the same name as places on The London
Did you get his birthday?
oh bollocks! no! I forget!
He was born on March 10 as Colin Wright and changed his surname in respect of his Step-Father.
ah, but he could prove to be a good link to a certain other Radio 1 presenter whose birthday may be important!
Noooooo. Most unfairness, I love Colin lol.
Anyone would look good standing next to Edith.
Correct!!
That being that well-known R1 presenter who shares my birthday. The one it’d be good for me to meet, but at the same time, quite awkward as I’m a massive fan of Pete + Geoff (the real ones, not some silly namesakes), and not a particular fan of Moyles, having very rarely (if ever) listened to him. So I’d have to ditch Pete + Geoff and go over to lsitening to Moyles for a bit so I can appear like someone who’s a genuine fan of his, not just some twat who happens to have the same birthday as him.
Mind you, Pete + Geoff quit the breakfast show at the end of the year, so I could sample Moyles for a bit after that……
Pete… ah! I know someone born on your birthday. Unfortunately, I can’t remember who it is.
Censored Ian! We’re not giving the actual dates out too readily to maintain an air of mystery, remember!
I live most of my life inside an air of mystery.
What’s the rent like?
Quite insubstantial, I would have thought!