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General Car Fault

Many years ago, one of the original ‘Does the round’ emails that used to get forwarded on a lot, was a list of things about ‘If Microsoft made cars’, and then followed an amusing twist on what would happen to motor vehicle manufacturing if Microsoft bought out Ford or General Motors. You can still find those lists here, here, and here.

Engine Warning LightMy favourite was always the “Warning lights for oil, petrol, etc.. will be replaced with one fault light for ‘General Car Error'”, echoing the (now long-missed!) ‘General Protection Fault’ of Windows 3.1 – remember that? Oh yes … halcyon days.

Well on Saturday my car started playing up, and by Sunday evening when I drove home it was really fucked, to the point where a light next to my speedometer lit up which I’d never seen before, and I had to actually look in the manual (not something a techie undertakes lightly – let me assure you!) to see what it was.

Ah! Yes, it’s an engine shaped light. And my Ford manual actually said the words ‘General Engine Problem – Please take your car to a Ford dealer as soon as possible’.

My car is now in the garage. Being fixed by a bloke called Bill …

I’m slightly pissed by the fact that I think that the new Coldplay single from ‘X&Y’ is going to be the excellent ‘Talk’. I mentioned this here earlier this year when I first heard it – it caught my attention because it nicks the melody from the classic Kraftwerk tune ‘Computer Love’, and it was played on Radio 1 this morning, and I’m sure I heard Moyles talk about it in the context of ‘new single’, rather than just the fact that it’s an excellent song.

And somehow that just .. annoys me. For me, I’ll remember it as a song I played a lot back in June & July of this year when I discovered it, and thus will have lots of memories associated to that particular time. Now what’ll happen of course is that it’ll get played loads on the radio and music channels over the next few weeks, and so I’ll have conflicting memories in years to come of when it was a ‘current’ tune for me. Am I alone in having such a quandry? Yes – I think I probably am.

Whilst mentioning Coldplay, I should probably mention and extend the ‘Famous people I bumped into in the lift at work today’ theme I started at the weekend with Colin, by mentioning the fact that I got in the lift yesterday with Manish Bhasin, presenter of Football Focus. His mobile phone rang whilst I was standing next to him, and it was Coldplay’s “Clocks”. So maybe I should start new list .. ‘What beeb celeb has what ringtone’. I’ll let you know how I get on …

24 responses to “General Car Fault”

  1. Emma` says:

    Nope .. you’re not alone .. I have EXACTLY the same thing with Alanis Morisette
    and “Jagged Little Pill” .. it went through a stage of being played to death during my first
    year at Uni when it was about 4/5 years old .. but it always reminds me of my Lower 6th
    Biology field trip in Devon!

    Hope Bill does a good job!!

  2. Moley says:

    Let me suggest that Carol Vorderman’s ringtone may be ‘The Final Countdown’!

  3. Mikey says:

    Geoff you made my day. I got an email from my uni’s postroom telling me there was a packet waiting for me, and today i went down and collected it. I was so happy to discover that it was oe of the caramel waffers you mentioned the other week, which i had completely forgotten about…it went down very nicely in my boring economics lecture.

    Anyways, thank you very much…its made my day

  4. Mark Garth says:

    Ahh Ford….Fix Or Repair Daily

  5. Kathleen says:

    Your sooo not along.. Daniel Powter Bad Day I’ve been listening to since like february/march time but its only been in the charts recently.

  6. Jono says:

    Put it this way: If the car told you what was actually wrong, would you be able to do anything about it, other than take it to the garage?

  7. Anthony says:

    Carol Vorderman is not a BBC celeb though!!

    You might have been able to diagnose the problem with the aid of a Haynes manual.

  8. Paul Webb says:

    My car has been absolutely fine since you left, Geoff. And I still wave to my exhaust pipe when I pass it on the way into work.

  9. Ian says:

    If you will insist on listening to chart radio, then what do expect?

  10. geofftech says:

    5/ “Bad Day” has been around since February? Oooh! I did not know that.

    So you’ll all vote for your favourite songs if I do a ‘review of the year’ music CD ahain this year, yes?

    9/ Lol! (as ever). I thought I’d get mine fixed BEFORE you turned up so that we didn’t have incidents whilst you were here. (Paul is coming to visit Geofftech mansions at the weekend). At least you know it’s not just you that has car issues…

  11. geofftech says:

    3/ A pleasure mate. No worries.

  12. Isaac Hunt says:

    Martin in CTA wants to talk to you about Doctor Who theme tunes next time you’re in …

  13. geofftech says:

    What.. Mr Scudamore? Tell him to email the Geofftech!

  14. Anthony says:

    Geoff, speaking of songs, I believe you have a certain tube-related song to mention and promote…

  15. Geoff's Mum (Tina) says:

    Geoff, you could have the ‘BBC News Tune’ as your ringtone!
    I had a phone once, about 4 years ago where you could write your
    own ringtone using the keyboard as basic do,re,mih musical notes etc.
    Has anybody else ever done this? For a few weeks I had ‘God save
    the Queen’but it sounded dreadful, so I binned it.

  16. geofftech says:

    I confess that I once had “Going Underground” as my ringtone, and I conceded to that after failing to generate a MIDI version of the great Roy Castle’s “Dedications what you need”, or even the “Record Breakers” theme tune.

    For a reasons too long to mention here, mine is currently set to Europes “The Final Countdown”. But a BBC ringtone? Excellent idea, i’d be sad enough to buy it …

    Got my car back from the garage though – not an expensive fuel injection pump as I feared (that would have been a Łthree figure sum, but a only a Łtwo figure sum instead, phew).

  17. Maybe Tony Blair should have “Under Pressure”?

  18. Isaac Hunt says:

    Have you heard that Orbital song that samples John Craven’s Newsround ? (Spare Parts Express, I think it’s called)

  19. geofftech says:

    Indeed. From the Orbital album “Middle of nowhere”. Must. Get. Myself. a Copy! iTunes’ll have it, for sure – right?

  20. geofftech says:

    [ 2 mins later … ]

    iTunes doesn’t have it! Shite. Isaac? Can you *cough* give me a copy?

  21. Fimb says:

    There. Record Breakers theme as a ring tone. Can’t find “Dedication” for the life of me though!

  22. geofftech says:

    Fimb! You may carry on using IE all you want after that .. thanks!! 🙂

  23. Anthony says:

    Sorry to change the subject, but did anyone see me on the UK Music Hall of Fame programme on Channel 4 tonight/last night/Thursday night? Does anyone have it videoed?

  24. Felix says:

    Re: the Coldplay song,

    It’s that old thing of having the good idea before everyone else did but not having the ability to tell them all how great you are before they figure it out themselves.

    What you need is some way to talk to a lot of people, I hear those blog things are quite popular.

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