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Final day of pre-christmas shopping then, although mainly it was to get some food in, and so – rather marvellously – I was one of the first few people through the doors of my local Sainsburys when it opened this morning. I whizzed round the almost empty aisles, congratulating myself heartily for not leaving it until a few hours later when you just know it would turn into congestion city. In fact, an hour later as I was at the checkout it was already started to get quite busy with trolley jams occurring in a few places.

No AlcoholThe cashier ‘beeped’ through my items, me with my Nectar card at the ready (Yes I would like to redeem almost thirty quids worth of points please! And no I don’t need any cashback thanks) when he said something that made me laugh.

“Er… Im sorry to ask sir but have you got any ID on you for the alcohol?” he said, motioning towards the Kronenbourg now in line with his scanner.

Fantastic. A Christmas joke! A jolly sense of humour first thing in the morning! And I laughed back and made some equally amusing quip back only to find that… oh! He wasn’t joking.

Yes. Me. A 33 year old being asked to prove my age to buy beer.

“It’s just that we have to ask now using 21 as the age” he said, trying to point out that I wasn’t able to look eighteen but I was able to look twenty one! I thought about it, and realised that it actually made my day, smile, and chuckle some more … but he seemed a bit embarrassed about having to ask, especially as he now quite clearly realised that I was much older than 21!

One thing I most definitely didn’t buy when out shopping was the X-Factor winning single from Shayne Ward, mainly because it’s a big pile of shite, and er .. well, what more reason do you need than that? So therefore, I was quietly thrilled and very amused when I spotted on the iTunes music store that a lot of other people agreed with me, and were leaving, shall we say … negative comments about buying it!

So why not go and buy the Nizlopi single instead as it’s much better and not a pile of pantomime-driven-overhyped-shite. And to sum up, think about this – did you ever hear of last years winner Steve Brookstein after he’d had just one hit? Exactly. I rest my case m’lud.

21 responses to “Shopping”

  1. Lia says:

    I’ve just been to Brent Cross where some of the sales have *already* started and so
    I was able to buy some of next year’s presents .

    Wish Leigh a Happy Christmas from me and I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.
    Merry Christmas

  2. Nicola says:

    Merry Christmas!

  3. geofftech says:

    Lia (#1) however looks her age (43) and has no chance of ever been asked to prove ID! 😀

  4. Chris says:

    Indeed, a Merry Christmas to you all.

  5. geofftech says:

    And please go and buy/download the Nizpoli single on iTunes tonight! Come on people – it’s not too late !!

  6. Chris says:

    Bought it in the shop today!

  7. Jono says:

    …except that Nizlopi aren’t all they appear to be. I saw them on the telly earlier, and they both spoke with nice, clean home counties accents, not the mockney you hear on the song. They also seemed like neither of them had a JCB driver as a father. So, is making up a sentimental song about a life you never lived any better than singing a song someone else wrote?

    And that’s before we get onto “spot the anachronism”: The song is obviously set in the 80’s (B.A. Baracas, Bruce Lee, Transformers), yet includes the phrase “a top laugh”, which I don’t remember being used until the late 90’s, and even then only amongst twentysomething lads.

    And Geoff, you can hardly complain about manufactured pop acts — may I mention Girls Aloud, Atomic Kitten, Natalie Imbruglia, Sugababes, Kylie, Britney…

  8. You can hardly complain about Geoff liking the sugababes: They’re a bit like doctor who with their regular regenerations into new bodies.

    At least you know where you are with manufactured pop. Unlike certain X5 driving environmentalists I could mention

    Happy Saturnalia.

  9. amy says:

    Please enjoy the fact that you were ‘carded’ for me will you?

    I was last asked for my ID while visiting in the US of A at 37 for a pack of ciggies which I believe at the time 16 year olds could purchase. Yeah, it felt damned good..

    Happiest of Holidays to your and yours Geoff. All the best in 2006!

  10. can I be anonymous? says:

    Geoff likes the sugababes? Hmph?

    I can’t believe you like Nizlopi. I can’t say it does anything for me but then I like music you can dance to and something a bit harder 😉

    You were id’ed? I wouldn’t complain. If only someone would id me!

    Enjoy your Christmas working and Doctor Who!

  11. Chris says:

    Nizlopi? X-Factor?

    Is it compulsory to be utter shite if you want to get a Christmas no. 1?

  12. Chris says:

    Oh, and Merry Christmas!

  13. Peter says:

    Happy Christmas.

    My mate’s wife (then girlfriend, aged 27 at the time) got ID’d on the way into a gig – went a little something like this:

    For the purposes of this we’ll call the bouncer “D” and my mate’s wife “B”.

    D: Got any ID?
    B: No, but I’ve got a mortgage.
    D: Repayment or endowment?
    B: Repayment.
    D: That’s ok – if you’d said endowment I wouldn’t have let you in.

    Oh how we laughed.

  14. geofftech says:

    When I was 25 I once got challenged in a pub – fair enough – but what really got me is that the girl serving me was clearly YOUNGER than me .. So there was she a 21 year old questioning my age when i was obviously older than her!

    Britney, GA, all manufactured, yes .. but in such a pantomime-fest that X Factor has now become? Whooped up audiences who go out and blindly buy the single.

    Shayne will NOT be around this time next year. I bet you 50p on it!

    Miss Imbruglia, GA, Britney, etc.. have on the other hand have all had a lots of hits … Shayne (like Steve Brookstein) will be a one hit wonder.

    The Nizlopi song by the way is an anti-bullying song. Hence why the kid doesn’t want to ride on the school bus.

    Right, I think that’s just about everything.

  15. I have been ID’d plenty of times in pubs (Why are most bouncers twats?)

    I have also had callers at the door, “is your mum or dad home son?” … oh sod off, I own this house! Grrr 😉

  16. amy says:

    I too get that one. “Is your Mom at home?” Uhh probably if you called her in the NURSING HOME! Not quite but you get the picture. Flattering? At almost 40 not really, just means my voice is horribly immature 🙁 Now people are mistaking me on the phone as my 12 year old son.

  17. I was recently carded myself twice. Once in a restaurant and once at the local market. Go on, Geoff, express the expected shock and disbelief.

  18. Chris says:

    Maybe people would think you were older if you grew a beard…

  19. geofftech says:

    #17 – you got CARDED! but you are in your FORTIES!!

    I once got the “Is you mum in?” line back in about 1997 when I was living with my (older) girlfriend at the time. She didn’t find it funny when I went and got her to be my ‘mum’, whereas I thought it was fcuking hilarious!!

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