Lift is a mystery
I work on the 7th floor at work.
Today I go buy a sandwich and drink at lunchtime from the ground floor. Then head back to my office on the seventh.
I get in the the lift on the ground floor. There is one other person in the lift, the floor ’2′ button is already lit up, so I press the ’7′.
The lift ‘bings’ and stops at floor 1. There is no one there. No one gets in. No one gets out. The guy and I in the lift look at each other without saying anything.
The doors eventually shut .. slowly .. and we carry on.
The lift ‘bings’ and stops at floor 2. A guy gets in, murmers somthing about “Being really lazy and only going one floor, sorry” and the presses ’4′ by mistake. ‘Shit’ he says – and presses ’3′. The guy who was originally in the lift with me who I assumed was going to floor ’2′ doesn’t get out. So who pressed ’2′ then?
The doors eventually shut .. slowly .. and we carry on.
The lift ‘bings’ and stops at floor 3. The guy who got on at floor 2 gets out. A woman gets in, and presses ’6”.
The doors eventually shut – oh no they don’t! At the last moment, a guy shoves his foot in, the doors re-open and he presses ’5′.
The doors eventually shut .. slowly .. and we carry on.
The lift ‘bings’ and stops at floor 4 where the guy from floor 2 had pressed the button by mistake. The guy and the girl who got in at floor 3, look at me and the other original guy as they’re naturally expecting one of us to get out. No one moves.
The doors eventually shut .. slowly .. and we carry on.
The lift ‘bings’ and stops at floor 5, and the guy who got on at floor 3 gets out.
The doors eventually shut .. slowly .. and we carry on.
The lift ‘bings’ and stops at floor 6, and the woman who got on at floor 3 gets out.
The doors eventually shut .. slowly .. and we carry on.
The lift ‘bings’ and stops at floor 7, and eventually I get out.
The guy who’s been in there from the start … stays in the lift!
I’m very confused.
After living in London for the first 33 years of my life and working for the 
So for ten weeks in June, July and August 2009, I drove 20,000 miles around the the lower 48 contiguous states of the USA visiting towns and places that shared the same name as places on The London
Take the stairs. It’s good for you!
7 floors of stairs does nothing but make you sweat, especially if you’ve just come in form the cold and haven’t taken off your coat yet.
The first guy slipped into a ‘lift trance’, missed his floor, didn’t want to show his embarrassment or delay the lift further, so was waiting for everyone else to leave the lift and correct his ‘mistake’ in private.
People in lifts going up 1 floor are evil. People going down one floor are worse.
Alternatively the first guy was hoping to increase his chances of sharing the lift with a ‘celebrity’… was he still there 15 minutes later?
Geoff, that’s the funniest blog entry I’ve read in ages!
Hang on! You mean ‘Elevator,’ don’t you?
Totally agree with the comment of Ian (the voice of reason).
I used to work on the 7th floor. Over the course of three years I had an ‘every floor except 6′ journey and an ‘every floor except 1′ journey but never the magic jackpot of ‘every single bloody floor from 1 to 7′. I’m jealous, obviously.
Have you ever been in a paternoster?
The irony is, is that with my speedy gait, it would have been faster to take the stairs.
Magic jackpot indeed! Maybe I should definetely buy another EuroMillions ticket tomorrow.
You still can’t beat it though when people embarass themselves by getting in at (say) ground, thinking the lift is going up, but it’s not – it’s going down instead. So they have to go down to the basement first, then back up, before continuing their elevated journey.
Try living on the 9th floor Geoff, with 2 lifts to choose from, it’s great!
My story is this – Arrive home cold & weary, note left hand lift is at Ground, hurrah, press button to open door, but lift mysteriously then goes up to 9, before coming down
v-e-r-y slowly, with no-one in it.
Right hand lift door then opens, which one shall I take?
I think there is a lift Gremlin who knows you are there but loves to mess
you about and show you who’s boss, Remember ‘Hal’the computer in ’2001′ a Space
Odyssey?
I usually walk down. I think you should use your Tube Challenge legs and run up 2
at a time in future.
P.S. I have escaped
We had a paternoster at Uni, it was great fun, expect the bloody thing kept breaking down when people rode around the top or bottom…
Wasn’t HAL called so, because it was all one-letter up from ‘IBM’ ? Or is that an urban legend?
You’ve escaped what?
Heard this one before?
A guy lives on the 10th floor of an apartment block.
In the morning, he gets in the lift and travels to the ground floor and heads to work.
When he comes home, he gets in the lift, and travels to the 5th floor, before walking up the remaining flights of stairs to the 10th……
…but, on days it is raining, when he comes home, he travels all the way to the 10th floor using the lift!
Why?
Yes, Ross, I have.
But I shall leave the solution for others to work out.
Those paternoster things look cool. I shall have to find one.
Ross,
It’s simple!
I, too, know the answer to this, Ross, but nor will I give away the solution!
Oh man I hate those paternoster things! There was one at Leicester Uni when I was there… I dreaded using it in case I got my head trapped or something equally ridiculous!
#12: hear, hear!! When Geoff gave me the BBC tour, I don’t remember a lift; we took the stairs and he took two at a time! Agree, I think he should forget lifts and use stairs.
*dons whiney voice*
I wanna go on the paternosterrrrr!!!
Those paternoster things look absolutely deadly! I’m surprised there are any still working in England in the age of health and safety! I want to go on one!
And the term “paternoster” lends them an ominous air. A sense of cataclysm and fear.
The word “paternoster” just reminds me of word “nosferatu” – and I have no idea why. It’s very early – well, late. I really should go to bed.
Oh, and he’s a dwarf. And only when it’s raining does he take his umbrella which allows him to press buttons higher than he can normally reach.
woo. I have just discoved Geofftech it/you is very cool!!
Maybe the dwarf has an exterior stairwell?
My uni also has a paternoster…is it just a uni thing?
We have the world’s studpidest lifts in that they have no buttons on the inside. You select your floor outside BEFORE entering. Pity the poor visitors who don’t realise this and dive in the lifts as the doors are closing then look around for the buttons while the other occupants stand about smirking at their idiocy as the lift sails past their desired floor.
More annoying than people who go one floor at our place are those that walk in the building, press floor one then if the lift doors don’t open immediately they leg it up the stairs. We then have to go up one floor at a time without even having anyone to tut at – hmpfh!
Hmm.. Scared and intrigued by paternosters. Must try one out!
#14 – Escaped from the Tower of course!
Paternosters sound cool. As for #15 – does the lift wait for ages at the 5th floor, or is there a need to change lifts to another one that’s the only one that goes up to floor 10, which normally involves a long wait?
Geoff you make me laugh…regarding the lifts: I live in Italy at the 7th of a 8 floors building. When I go out the lift is always at the ground floor but when I am at the groundfloor most of the times the lift is always at the 8th. Do you think is a simple Murphy’s law? I calculate roughly I loose 4/5 minutes a day waiting for my lift…more than a day a year!!
Probably more people live in those flats at the 8th?? Doesn’t seem so! Is there a masterful plan to make me loose five minutes a day of life? Please help me!
ciao
So what’s the origin of Paternoster Square being called Paternoster Square?
Surely it’s not named after a lift system….
Sorry to bump this one but I, for one, don’t know the answer to the riddle. Seeing as how everyone was so kind not to spoil the answer, can someone please explain it for me?