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Yes, I’m in England

In a change to planned bloggage:

  • The tenant in my flat who was supposed to move out by December 28th is refusing to go. I am now having to get a solicitor to go to the courts to evict him with a possession order. We suspect the tenant is doing this on purpose so that they can go to the local council, say they’ve been evicted and try and get re-housed for free. The word “Arsehole” is nowhere near strong enough.

  • I got food poisoned on Friday – either that or there is a virus going round. I managed to be sick in the bed, on the floor and then in the toilet of the house of the friends I was staying at into the small hours of Saturday which really went down well. I was then pretty much zombied out all day, and didn’t drink a drop of alcohol for my New Years “celebrations”.
  • So instead of a nice relaxing week catching up with family and friends, it’s all gone a bit hectic…

    Happy New Year?

    29 responses to “Yes, I’m in England”

    1. Mikey says:

      T O S S E R

      this is a fun game…

    2. Chris says:

      C U Next Tuesday.

      Game? Indeed.

    3. Chris says:

      Ooops – Should be Friday 😉

    4. Paul says:

      Ill but still blogging, what commitement! I am thinking of killing my blog and starting a fresh for 07

    5. kate says:

      oh deary! would that happen in America?

    6. jj says:

      se,, here in the USA, you could just shoot him. wouldn’t that be easier?

    7. Ross says:

      Geoff – To try and cheer you up a bit, Shaz and I were just sitting here doing “Random Channel Surfing” on the telly, and we turned over to see your smiling face saying “always catch the first train”…. Yep – they are still showing “The Tube” here in NZ.

      And we agree with JJ, smuggle him back to the US, and shoot him on arrival.

    8. stroppycow says:

      Shame he doesn’t seem to know that
      To be accepted as a homeless person for permanent re-housing under the 1987Act you must:
      Not have made yourself intentionally homeless.

    9. Tina says:

      Geoff, phone me please, I might be able to help.

    10. Richard says:

      I’d guess that he’s just trying to get as much free accommodation from you as possible.

    11. Geoff's Cousin says:

      Would you like us to go round and threaten him at bit?

      It’s not legal but it’s fun (unless he’s bigger than me)

      *Disclaimer – this is a joke. I’m not suggesting it really. Violence is bad unless it involves the ginger one out of Girls Aloud.

    12. geofftech says:

      I’m now starting to think that I was not food poisoned, but instead got a viral bug which ’caused my upset stomach.. yup! Have heard of two other people grumbling too! Nice to be back in england to catch these things.

      The housing laws are all warped in the favour of the illegal tenant. If he goes out for the day, and i change the locks he can then get a criminal charge against ME for ‘throwing him out’ illegally. Stupid, huh?

      And you’re not the first person to have offered a bit of muscle. Trust me, I have dreamed of it many, many times.

    13. zuzula says:

      oh, i had the tummy bug too, right before xmas. miserable. hope you’re feeling better now. It doesn’t last long, but it’s nasty!

      can’t believe your tenant is being such an arse. is he not squatting now, if he’s in your house without a contract?

    14. geofftech says:

      It’s all in the hands of a solicitor. I shouldn’t really say any more publically, just to beon the safe side.

      However, once the wanker is out of my place I could easily spill the beans here all the details I have about him.

      Anyway, i just had to sign a scary looking official form that is going to the courts today to start the process to get him out. what fun. (not)

    15. geofftech says:

      Mind you …

      50 pence to cover my mortgage” would be nice. See as the wanker isn’t paying rent anymore.

    16. Tina says:

      Make it a 1, and I’ll start the ball rolling, it’s the least we can all do as you have kept us entertained with your blog all year. One British pound on it’s way to you now.

    17. Kirk says:

      “Contributor 32098 is Kirk Northrop – thanks for the 50p Kirk! He’s selected a picture of Niagra Falls to go in his postage stamp sized bit of wall. Thanks Kirk – and don’t forget I’ll be keeping all the pictures on my wall until I sell the house!”

    18. Johnny Alpha says:

      Forget the muscle. Unless you’re Nicholas Van Whotsisface and are willing to go around with a hand grenade or something seriously deranged, it’s not going to do much.

      Do you know anyone who works nights who could “accidentally” go around every single night at 3 AM and “accidentally” wake him up?

    19. Anthony says:



    20. Paul Webb says:

      Top Tip: acquire one of those cards that naughty ladies put in phone boxes. Run through Photoshop to ammend the phone number to that of your tennant. Distribute around London. Sit back. Smile.

    21. Garion Allen says:

      I agree. Excellent idea. If I was there, I would definately do it! hehe

    22. Convict says:

      If you aren’t allowed to change the locks, are you perhaps able to just remove the whole front door?
      Then everyone can just go inside and take all of his belongings. (I shotgun any cash laying around inside or hidden under the mattress.) You haven’t illegally evicted him, and if he complains, just say you are doing some renovations and you think the whole front door thing is a bit 2006.

    23. Fimb says:

      I get up at 6:15 each morning.. would he like a wake up phone call each morning do you think?
      (and stomach big here too, weds / thurs of last week. miserableness ensured)

    24. jj says:

      heh. i could phone him right before i go to bed each night – 2200 EDT = 0200 GMT…

    25. Mikey says:

      Erm…Geoff is still alive, right?

    26. geofftech says:

      #27 – no Rob, I won’t. ’cause i want everyone to see your comment, like I had to…

    27. geofftech says:

      Rob, can you give me 742 then please to pay for my mortgage for January? You know my address, so send me a cheque – that’s ever so kind of you, thanks.

    28. geofftech says:

      #29 – Can I assassinate his character now Rob?

      Now that is that the lettings agents have been round and found Class A drugs on the premises, and evidence that he’s been dealing?

      Still waiting for that money. Be a good chap and paypal it to me ASAP. thanks.

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