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One world

Why the world would be a better place, if we just took all the 300 or so individual countries, and merged them into one big country.

1. We could all speak the same language (Esperanto, anyone?) School lesson time would then be freeed up to learn other stuff intead of all those different languages.

2. We could have just one god/religion, which you either choose to believe in or not, thus doing away with petty “My god is better than yours therefore I must shoot you” (He says, generalising massively)

3. We could do away with all border controls and immigration officials who are the most anal-retentive beings on earth. We could bundle them into a spacecraft and set them off to make a new colony on Mars or something (as per Hitchhikers)

4. No need for passports, having to pay for passports, and wondering if you’re going to get your passport back in time from the passport office for your trip even though you applied for it 6 months ago

5. Geography lessons would be easier for kids at school: Just one country name to remember (I suggest ‘Elbonia‘, thanks Scott)

6. Office bores who tell tales of “See this amazing country I went to on holiday this year” would die out because there would only be one country – the same one – world over.

7. Immigrant issues (a hot potato in the UK) would no longer be an issue, there would be no immigrants – ’cause we’d all be from the same place.

8. You’d never waste time again on any gadget or installation of computer software having to programme in what country, country code, or language you want it in because it would be hard-coded fixed to the same from the start.

9. As an amusing aside, the old British Airways advertising slogan ‘One world‘ would become spookily true, and perhaps we can make the advertising exec who though it up the new King or Queen of the new country or something in belated recognition of being years ahead of their time.

10. Finally (and the most important reason, and what I’ve obviously been building to…) is that maybe, just maybe – when we’re all the same:

WE COULD STANDARDISE ON CHOCOLATE BARS TO STOP CONFUSING SCENES LIKE THIS HAPPENING !

UK (left): Kit-Kat, Kit-Kat Chunky, Kit-Kat Chunky Peanut, Snickers Duo, Mars (King Size), Twix, Bounty (Plain), Bounty (Milk), Drifter, Lion Bar (King Size), Toffee Crisp, Caramac, Snickers, Mars, Twix, Mars Delights, Ripple, Milkybar, Chomp, Rolo, Fudge, Smarties, Revels, Maltesers, Malteser (White), Minstrels. [ Click here for large sized original ]

USA (right): Baby Ruth, Kit-Kat (King Size), Reese’s (King Size), Take 5 (King Size), Reeses’s Fast Break (King Size), 5th Avenue, Nutrageous, Zero (King Size), Almond Joy (Blue), Almond Joy (Red), Hershey’s Almond, Mr. Goodbar, Butterfinger, 100 Grand, Kit-Kat, PayDay, Zero, Whatchamacallit, etc .. etc .. etc .. [ Click here for large sized original ]

My poor little head can’t cope with remembering two ‘sets’ of sweets – seriously.

What I used to know, compared to what I now know, visiting back for 11 days to what I remember, only to then come back to all my newly learnt stuff. I’m so confused. Surely that’s got to be the best reason for standardisation across the globe?

19 responses to “One world”

  1. Joan says:

    Mmmmm…I just finished gobbling down a huge bag of Smarties shipped from Canada for Christmas.

  2. Bob H says:

    I read my favourite blogs though my Thunderbird mail reader with the RSS section to save me browsing constantly. But today I was confused, for the first few paragraphs I thought I was actually reading Scott Adams’ blog and not yours! Confusingly similar… until the chocolate.

    Too much nationalism would prevent your plan working. Just look at Scotland, looking to break away from a good thing. Its always a minority who want these things because of their strong political views and because they want the power. Grrrr. One Europe I say, I have my identity and boarders/politicians don’t define it.

  3. You are now truly american. Congratulations.

    1. Everyone speaks English, right.
    2. My god has deemed that you are Iraqi so i must shoot you
    3/4. Who needs passports? Why would you want to go anywhere.
    5. How about the US of A
    6. We went to Florida.
    7. You’re not from round here, are you son….

  4. stroppycow says:

    I’ll have to point you to a different corner shop next time you come home, one that has Hershey’s and Reese’s bars so you feel slightly less confused. 🙂

  5. Tina says:

    If you are so obsessed with chocoalate, how come you are not FAT? Or shall we watch you gradually grow bigger over the next few years! These photos would make a lovely desktop/screen saver when you are trying to give up choccy for the new year, so you look but don’t eat.

  6. JC says:

    The UK needs to bring back NERDS.

  7. We did, JC, but he escaped back to Charleston 🙂

  8. geofftech says:

    I have to say it was a genuinely confusing moment when back in England, that we stopped into a shop and I did a little double-take as I remembered all the sweets & chocolate that I had forgotten about.

    Why aren’t I fat? Good question!

    Where is the shop in the UK that sells states candy, strops?

  9. Chris says:

    Will this do Geoff?

    http://www.canadashop.uk.com/

    They sell Canadian candy which looks pretty much like States candy, like Reeces and Oh Henry!

    They’re near Covent Garden.

    Chris.

  10. Nicola says:

    I agree as long as the country can have Lucky Charms cereal. It’s a crime that they don’t sell them here anymore. A terrible, terrible crime.

    BTW very impressed you stumbled across my LJ only a day or two after I mentioned your site! That search thingy must be updated pretty quick. And I do still read your blog once or twice a week, even though I don’t usually comment…

  11. Fimb says:

    Have I got some blasted spyware, or have you got a script running that gives the “snap” things?

  12. geofftech says:

    Fimb – You don’t like my snap pop up boxes? Ah c’mon.. they’re FUN!

    Nicola – Hello! *waves* How are you? I like to keep tabs on who’s keeping tabs on me y’see … always good to know these things.

  13. Nicola says:

    I’m very well thank you – procrastinating from a postgrad Legal Practice Course rather than my law degree now! But still in Cardiff and otherwise much the same.

    Your pic of chocolate bars here has made me really crave a Caramac…

  14. stroppycow says:

    corner shop accross from the Black Horse pub, Lampton Road Hounslow sells Hershey’s bars + reeses bars and cups.

  15. geofftech says:

    Billie at 6 in overall iTunes chart, and 3 in ‘pop’ genre. it’s soooooo going to make it. love it!

  16. David - Lightwater says:

    What about the weather Geoff? I heard that you are having ICe storms and what not in SC?

  17. geofftech says:

    No ice here.. it got a bit chilly though! About 20 miles inland, they’ve had ice-storms, and further in from that some snow, but Charleston remains unaffected! It’s 29 degrees here today and i’m wearing short as usual.

    (Ok, that’s a lie .. it IS actually quite cold here today)

  18. Anthony says:

    This is one of the finest ideas ever.

    It seems that the Americans love their peanuts and almonds. I wouldn’t have thought that almond chocolate bars could be so popular. Congratulations, also, in not saying “candy”!!

  19. Fimb says:

    Thanks geoff. They scared me slightly and I thought I’d been infected *g*
    Just came across them in another wordpress blog which prompted me to come back and check your reply. They re indeed quite cool!

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