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D-Day

Last week, when I posted an artistic video creation up on my site, a couple of people genuinely thought that I was about to top myself. One who didn’t because he ‘got’ what it was all about, emailed me – even though I’ve never even met him. A nice man in Australia called Peter sent me a lovely email applauding the way in which I put a very personal view of my life on my blog for everyone to see. Well, today we take that personal approach to yet another new level in terms of ‘putting myself out there’ on my blog.

When my friends in England ask me why I haven’t come home yet, the answer is long and complicated. But the core of the truthful answer involves this theatre in Charleston where the place and all the people involved have become an integral part of my life ever since I started taking improv comedy classes their at the beginning of this year.

But now it’s all set to end. Or is it?

2008 has been a hell of a year, and as I’ve been slowly putting together my regular annual Review of the Year compilation over the past few weeks, I’ve decided that these last twelve months have been the best for music that I can remember in a long long time – and there are a whole bunch of songs which are also now so very integral to my memories.

But now I’ve got to decide what to do. Because I really don’t know. So all I can do is implore, and perhaps even maybe beg you a little to watch the following (because yes, it’s quite long) and let me know what you think. I really want to know what you think – as simple at that. Because I still … don’t know.

Thanks.

26 responses to “D-Day”

  1. geofftech says:

    … because when I got the call. It wasn’t the news that I’d hoped to hear. 🙁

  2. Leigh says:

    You have a strong history of break-ups fueling you into major artistic productions. (Tube, Improv, etc.)…I think you should go with your ideas of a one-man show, even if it’s not with Theatre 99 or even in the States. You still have a lot to look forward to whether you stay or go.

    And though I don’t really like being mentioned in this video all that much, I am still happy to have played the catalyst in your finding improv.

  3. regina says:

    STFU!

    I sit down for my first cup of self-made tea, ever, and then read this.

  4. PhilB says:

    geoff … beautiful video, and i’m guessing that you may have shot it yourself and were talking to no-one even tho you made itlook like you were. did you have your comments locked out for a while? i found that i couldn’t write this comment back there for awhile.

    i think you should stay in the usa. do it, do it, do it! keep going…

  5. UKW says:

    You are coming back… right?

  6. TAMI says:

    I think you shouldnt feel foolish for “puttin all your eggs in one basket”. 2008 was a year for growing as we all do no matter how we age. YThe selfish part of me says Go back to England because I miss those UK blogs and every day it was part of my waking up to get motivated to go to work. With you living in the US I somehow lost the UK connection but connected still with you and your everyday live in the states. I really think you will make theright decision as I am sure, we all will support you cause you are our “friend”!! But I would sure like to do a tube run!!

  7. Paul says:

    Well, generally, these are my thoughts, in no particular order:

    I’m tired – it is too long since I had a holiday; I have just seen the news footage from Mumbai; it’s coming up to Christmas – I do not really ‘do’ Christmas and am not looking forward to it; two friends have been badly affected by cancer; my knees hurt; I got a letter in the post today saying I had got caught by a speed camera and I will have to have three points on my license; my ambitions for atheistic immortality seem to be blown out of the water; it is getting dark really early in the evening – it gets black by 1700.

    So maybe my current nihilism is a bit temporary. Not a negative nihilism, but a pretty pure amoral unemotive nihilism. I am actually happy.

    But my thoughts are – it really doesn’t matter. I would have thought that if you had learned anything over the last year it is that you can loose a great deal and end up in a better place than where you started. So, you can stay in Charleston and be happy, or go somewhere else, change your life and be happy.

    I also try to remember this: in 100 years I will be dead. In 150 years, everybody who will have met me will be dead. Nothing I ever do will have much consequence or be remembered, so why worry?

    On a brighter note:

    There is a Brendan Fraser film on TV – like Brendan Fraser; my cat really loves me at the moment; I’m going on holiday in a couple of week’s time – no plans – just get in the car and go; I ran 6 miles yesterday; a relation has come out of hospital and is much better; I have put aside enough cash this year that I may not have to work next year; something I have been working on for a few months was put to a vote today and was accepted – this could be quite big and I am pleased; The Pet Shop Boys are working on an album with Xenomania which will be released in 2009.

    It’s all there if you look for it.

  8. Lynne says:

    I like the video a lot – actually I have still only seen the pre-edited Facebook version.

    I imagined you talking to a football head like Tom Hanks in that film…

    Stay in the US – more Brits over there the better! I move back in about 2 weeks.

  9. G's Mum says:

    Whatever you decide to do, your time in the USA has not been wasted. Memories and friends are precious. Anyway have you seen the news lately? Britain is not such a good place at the moment. Your family miss you very much, and we would love to see you more, but you must follow your heart, only you know what to do. You can’t ask us your friends and family to choose your future for you, that’s too much of a burden. That decision must be yours. One day you will wake up and you will know what to do. Of course if you believed in ‘Him’ (or some other divine being) you could pray for guidance, but that’s not going to happen is it. Good Luck with whatever you decide. X

  10. Peter from Adelaide, Australia says:

    Geoff
    as you know i sent these thoughts direct because your comnents were switched off but am happy to share them.

    You have been very brave putting yourself out there with such a big life decision – i know myself i have often called 2-3 people i trust to get their views on big decisions i have made in my life which i found useful so hopefully the contributions you receive help you.

    My thoughts for what they are worth are based on experience of 2 marriages and living in many places across Australia for work. As you may know going from one state to another in australia is likened to moving to another country in terms of travel time.

    You only go around once (apologies to any very religious friends of yours!) so you ahve to happy and be good to yourself.

    Having a passion is very special and you have pursued that during 2008 and you have been happy doing it and you should never say 2008 has been a waste or foolish exercise.

    You are a talented guy across many fields and to the best of my knowledge don’t have any dependants and can take some risks in life and follow your passion. You will always have plenty to fall back on due to your talents.

    I found it interesting you kept referring to going ‘home’, i can’t help but feel you beleive deep down you have 2 homes now. You have good friends in both places. New friends are exciting and I am sure you are enjoying life and sharing your Improv passion with like minded mates. I assume you have consideerd the sustainability of those friendships as some quit Improv and others move onwards and upwards.

    You have long term friends in England who will always be your friends and I am sure would love to have you back in London if that made you happy.

    On a lighter note but very important nonetheless you need to way up that England has beer in proper glasses, better range of beers on tap and the second best football game in the world (obviously Australian Rules Football is the greatest!). And the home of the Mighty Spurs.

    I think deep down we know what would make us most comfortable but we do also need to chalelnge comfort zones and take risks to get the most out of oursleves and our lives. You have being doing just that as far as i have observed over the years.

    I don’t think you are so much on an american adventure any more, you have created a life there. Are you a global citizen or an Englishman?

    I think you know what will make you the happiest and either way you decide you are going to feel excited to have direction but sorrow for the alternate choice.

    Good luck.

    Peter

  11. Tony G says:

    Hello Geoff,

    Its really quite simple….HOME is where the heart is,

    Now where does your heart reside

    therin lies your answer.

    Tony

  12. Mark Garth says:

    We all make decisions in life, some turn out to be great and others turn out not so. But whatever the outcome, you should always look at them in a positive light and realise that if you had made a different choice, you could be left wondering ‘what if’.

    As long as you can take something from the experience and move forward with it, then in the grand scheme of things it has been successful.

  13. clare says:

    Hey Geoff,

    I want to say that I’m surprise by your new level of “putting yourself out there” in this video. I want to say that, but of course that’s the cliched thing to do, to say “how surprise I am”, so I’m not going to say it. Plus, it did get to the point a while back where I figured that something like this would happen. So please keep going … I’m not really sure I’m in a position to comment, but it’s as hell as fascinating to logon to your website some days and see stuff like this. It’s a brilliant video. Keep them coming. I hope you decide what to do.

    C.

  14. Marc says:

    Geoff,

    It’s a black and white decision: you either stay stateside or go back to the UK. I’m thinking that the UK is where you really want to be, deep down, as you keep referring to it as home, even though you have not resided there permanently for x years. But… I reckon if you go there, life will pan out to be something fairly predictable and safe – which isn’t a bad thing. Some people crave it. But are you ready to settle for this yet?

    I think you’re close to this point, but not quite there. Example: you married Leigh. Marriage, for most people, is where they put down roots and slow down the pace of change in their life (some almost to the point of stopping). But you did something a bit different than most. I think you were saying that I’m ready to slow down, but, by moving stateside to get hitched, you were putting the message out that you still want change and variety in your life, that you’re not yet ready to settle down into a comfortable, humdrum existence.

    Sooooooooo, you want my opinion (you did ask the whole web what they thought you should do!)? Stay in the US for a bit longer, but make yourself a promise that if you are still in the same state of flux as you are now this time next year, you will be back in the UK by the time 2010 dawns.

    Marc

  15. Scott says:

    Hi Geoff,

    You can’t call your Time in the US wasted no matter which way you decide. The improv thing is very impressive and new friends are never not worth making not to mention the touring that you’ve done on this very blog, Chicago, Boston Etc Etc. You do still call England home throughout the video though so, as Tony G says home is where the heart is.. Good luck whatever you decide.

  16. Paul Anthony says:

    You know something Geoff, for about three years I’ve been following your postings (largely off the back of the Underground stuff) and although it’s been pretty much a wholly one-sided thing, I feel I’ve come to know you a little, without actually having met you.

    Anyhow, to decision time. From a personal perspective, stay in the US mate. 100%. From the first time I visited the US (over twenty years ago) there’s been an ache that has been growing and growing in me to live there. I was there two years ago and I just can’t wait to get back (dammit, if this was Star Trek Generations it would be like Soren trying to get back into theNexus. OK, I’ve outed myself as a Star Trek nerd).

    I’m coming to realise that the US is where my heart is, not Crowthorne/Reading/London/England. I’m 47 today and I wish we’d had the guts to make the jump in my mid-30s, but the longer I’m here, the more the dream of a life in the US disappears. Stay there. Work. Enjoy the US and the variety it has to offer. Embrace the land and it’s people. If you’re grounded and sensible, it really is the land of opportunity and adventure (sorry, that was a Blade Runner line). The UK is going down the toilet.

    Good luck with your decision.
    P

  17. Samantha says:

    I agree with Tony G – home is where the heart is. The problem comes when your heart is split between a couple or three places, with an almost physical pain when you’re in one but want desperately to be in the/an other.
    So I have a rota to juggle and 300 miles to travel when I want to be in the other place; it’s much easier for me. I get the feeling you’ll find it much more difficult to cope with the jumps between both places for some time.
    Take your time; it’s a big decision and only you can make it. How about time-sharing yourself between both places for a while to see how it goes in each?

  18. DivineMrsM says:

    I’ve just watched this video and I’m purposefully not going to read the other responses until after mine cos I’m sure they’ll say what I’m saying. But Geoff. You DID NOT waste 2008 waiting on a call from a theatre company. That theatre company gave you solace, friends, peace, happiness, drunkeness (I hope..!) and MADE YOU HAPPY. Whether or not they take you on is entirely another matter.

    2008 will resonate with you for the rest of your life, but not, I suspect, because of the breakdown of your marriage, but because of everything that you became as a result of that. Since you’ve been in Charleston, you’ve learned that you are a reporter, can make your own broadcastable packages, can STAND UP ON A STAGE AND MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH, can make bloody poignant movies about 2008…..and STILL bang on about bloody awful Pet Shop Boys type music….. (we’ll talk later about that Killers song…you know my thoughts…!)

    So basically – stay there and we’ll miss you or come home and I’ll feed you and invite inappopriate friends round for blind date dinners… 😉

    Either way – if your happy, we’re happy. And I’m glad we didn’t blow our savings on a plane ticket to your wedding…. 😉

    Muchos kisses and love from Tooting.
    xxxxx

  19. Julia says:

    You know… we have improv in the UK too 😉

    But seriously… listen to your mother!

  20. geofftech says:

    Thanks to everyone for taking the time to watch it & comment. I put it on facebook too and got some responses their, and got a few emails direct to me as well – all welcome, and all lovely. Thank you everyone.

    At somepoint, I’ll find time to reply to everyone. Until then … back to ‘normal’ …

  21. Chris says:

    Love the new ‘review of the year’ format! Especially the ‘vote for the alternative ending’ feature. Your talent for media is tangible, substantial and growing. There’s no doubt what you’ve been up to this year both work and play has nurtured something you already had to a level where ‘seriously talented’ is a just description.

    As for what’s right, well many decisions like this in life revolve around trying to please others and compromise. You are extremely lucky to have only yourself to please right now so that is the right thing to do – please yourself. What I mean by that is that your heart and your instincts will take you the way they do, and that way is the way you will go. You can’t judge, even with hindsight, what was right and wrong since you have no experience of the other path. You have asked a question to which there is no right answer and, at the same time, every answer is right.

    Often heart and mind disagree and usually (unless you’re operating heavy machinery) it’s best to go with the heart. If you’re in a quandary, try to block out what your logical mind is saying and see what’s left. That’s the path to take. If there’s still no obvious answer then it truly doesn’t matter as long as you do something.

    (I’ve just read back through the previous comments and realised I’m agreeing with your mum, and Julia!). It’s sort of a no-answer, but I believe it’s not helpful to ask others to decide where your life goes. If you do what someone else advises you are just giving yourself an excuse in case things don’t go as well as you’d hoped. Wherever you go you’ll have fun and agonising over where you’ll have most fun is only delaying it’s onset!

    Whatever, I hope we get the chance to chew things over with a beer in our hand soon!

  22. Rudi says:

    Ugh – such choices!

    I’d lean toward living life more “on the edge” if I were to be in your shoes: stay in the States, perhaps shift coasts. But the roots you’ve put down in Charleston are real, and I can see a certain logic in staying there.

    Whatever you choose, go with your gut and your heart, and never, EVER have any regrets! I see that you’re creative, intuitive and able to make lemonade with whatever lemons life deals you. So… life it up! Keep being you!

    And keep listening to the good choons, too.

  23. {armchair psychologist mode=on}
    I think you’ve been waiting since sometime in the spring/summer for ‘fate’ to make the decision for you… you’ve been looking for an ‘excuse’ to stay Stateside. Now that the chances of the decision being made for you are getting more remote, you’ve got to make the decision yourself. I think the ‘excuse’-business though is indicative that you feel you want (or ought?) to be back home in England. Are you reluctant to leave the US just because of the friends you’ve made, or (in the back of your mind) because it would be symbolically closing the door on a dream which turned out not to be?
    None of this diminshes the experiences and adventure you’ve had, nor denies the strength of the friendships you’ve forged – all of which will open doors for you in the future.
    Only you know what the ‘right’ decision is.

    I had to make a big decision in July over whether to take a job (both excellent offers, though very different jobs) in Southampton or in Cambridge. I found the thought of being on the south coast very attractive (and also a bit nearer friends) whereas Cambridge is somewhat landlocked. There’s a lot more to it, of course. It’s weird but I kind of felt that Cambridge was my destiny – and that was the choice I went with. I made the choice ‘in my head’ about 24 hours before I had to commit to it, and as those hours passed, felt ever-more comfortable with my choice. 3-4months on, I’m more sure than ever it was the right choice.

    Either option for you has its downsides, but you gotta go with what you know, deep down, is where you’re supposed to be. Fighting what you understand in your gut-feeling as your ‘destiny’ will tire you out.
    {armchair psychologist mode=off}

  24. Marko says:

    You might appreciate this, the genius of Bill Bailey after 20 odd years in the comedy business…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr2zvmsS9Ck

  25. Wayne says:

    Sorry, coming to this a little late, and without the requisite life coach qualifications.

    IMHO any decision on this scale should be made on your own terms, for positive reasons, not as a reaction to some (misguided?) negative impression of your current predicament. I think if you go back to the UK now, you’ll have a nagging feeling that the US experience was a failure, and although many would dispute that idea, what’s important is the way you subconsciously think of it.

    Anyway, loved the video, and admire your bravery and honesty. Not too sure about the musical choices though (can’t see the attraction of Hot Chip, and that Killers song reminds me of 80s has-beens Mr Mister), but hey, whatever floats your boat.

    Happy Xmas and all that, and hope 2009 is more… well, more about peaks than troughs.

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