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184 Weeks later

I’ve been busy. No, really. I’ve been back today and read through every single blog post that I have written in my time in the USA, and been reminded of everything I did. Some of it is fun, some of it is well written. Some of it is embarassing to read, and some is just painful and I never want to read it again. But it’s all there, and it’s an excellent record of realising how much I’ve packed into just a short time.

Obviously I emigrated and went through the lengthy immigration process – interviews, blood tests, more interviews and jumping through the hoops to prove that you wern’t fresh over the border from Mexico and you were going to get a cash in hand job.

In my first week here I got married. Then I was homesick, jobless and friendless for several months which was just awful. Car-less too which meant just getting around by bike (& having it stolen and getting another one) Charleston is quite a bike-friendly town, but my goodness do you need a car to survive in America – yes. You do.

I had to evict the dope, coke and heroin dealer from my flat back at home, i.e. pays lots of MY money for the priviledge of kicking the wanker out of my property.

Then I got married again – except this time we told everyone. I built a giant papier mache camera. I created a table plan in the design of the tube map. I even sang at my own wedding.

I became a dab hand at taking photographs of other people’s weddings. I visited most of the south-eastern cost of America by car and discovered that a four to five hour drive is nothing in the USA.

I went to the beach a lot – taking advantage of Charleston’s 8 month long summer period. I experience the 4th of July and Thanksgiving. I learned to live in a town under the threat of hurriances.

I discovered that American women have really masculine names.

I got a job which took me up in planes, onto boats and videoing alligators and snakes. I recused a loggerhad turtle from the ocean, met a 13 year old that could do the Rubiks cube in 24 seconds, flirted with Miss Teen South Carolina, interview American Idol contestants and a guy that worked on the first atomic bomb. I even got to meet Cat Deeley.

Then I got seperated. And divorced. And stood in a court to say that yes I was quite sure that I wanted to split up actually, and felt like I was right in court-room-movie drama.

I bought a car, and was threatened with being sued when I tried to return it because it was broke. I bought another car, one that worked this time.

I went to Alaska. (As well as Boston, Chicago, New York, D.C. and Seattle), which was just a warm up for my road trip really.

Improv sneaked its way into my life. I ended up performing in shows on stage. I discovered a whole bunch of unforgettable people.

I helped launch a rather wonderful local news website in Charleston. I made them videos. Loads of videos. Loads of really good videos. I made awesome personal videos too.

I drank too much Starbucks. Far too much Starbucks. Got into trouble when flirting with the baristas too.

I crashed my car – twice. Got five speeding tickets. I managed to set the house on fire and called 911. I shot a gun.

And I drove round all the other mainlaind states on a ten week roadtrip, blogging, videoing and tweeting as I went.


That’s kinda busy. I’m going home to get a regular job and have a rest.

One response to “184 Weeks later”

  1. Tina (Geoff's Mum) says:

    Yes, you certainly have had some experiences over the last few years. Some good, some bad. Plenty of stuff for your biography which you might write at some time in the future. You have kept us all entralled with your travel stories, and you have enabled me to visit the USA four times, and make some new friends. We are all looking forward to seeing you soon, and wonder what you will be getting up to over here. We certainly need cheering up!

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